Christmas Survival Guide to Visiting Family with Young Children in Tow
The festive season is a time of joy, family gatherings, and enjoying delicious food and drink! For parents of young children, the holiday visits to relatives can often be accompanied by well-intentioned but sometimes unhelpful remarks.
When my children were young I often found myself encountering a myriad of advice and comments about my children’s sleep routine, eating habits, behaviour…the list goes on! Behaviour feedback featured particularly highly during the time two of my children were regularly winding each other up!
And then adding in the fact you’re away from the familiarity and safety of home, adds an extra layer of stress!
As a holistic sleep consultant, early years expert and mum of four, I completely understand the challenges parents face during this time. In this article, we will explore common pitfalls and provide practical tips to help you navigate the festive period with confidence and ease.
Unsolicited Advice
Relatives may mean well, but their parenting advice can sometimes be overwhelming, unhelpful and make you feel like you’re doing a horrible job as a parent! It's essential for you to remember that every child is unique, and what works for one may not work for yours.
What you could do
Politely acknowledge their input and confidently express that you have a plan that works for your child. A gracious response might sound like, "I understand that approach works well for some children, but we've found a different method that suits our little one. However, I appreciate your thoughts on this." This not only communicates your confidence in your parenting choices but also acknowledges the well-meaning intention behind their advice. It's perfectly okay to set firm boundaries that align with your parenting values.
Concerns About Overstimulation
Festive gatherings can be lively affairs, and the heightened environment may be more stimulating than your child is accustomed to. It's common for parents to harbour concerns about their little ones becoming overwhelmed or overstimulated during these occasions.
What you could do
Proactively address potential overstimulation by creating a designated quiet corner or space where your child can retreat if things get too overwhelming. Consider bringing along familiar toys or comfort items that carry a sense of security for your child. A thoughtful way to communicate your intentions to relatives could be, "I'm going to take [child's name] out for a short time. Please don't worry; he just needs a little breather away from all the action." This not only allows your child a moment to recalibrate in a quieter setting but also sends the message to your relatives that you have everything under control and don’t require any guidance!
Disruption of Routine
Changes in routine, especially around sleep schedules, can be a cause for concern when visiting family. Maintaining some semblance of your child's routine will make everyone’s life easier, even though it can be challenging in a different environment.
What you could do
While it may be difficult to adhere strictly to your little one's normal routine during family visits, try to keep to the rhythm of a typical day as closely as possible. Recognize that some children are more sensitive to even minimal disruptions, while others may adapt easily. As a parent, you know your child best, so prioritise what works for them to help them stay happy.
Mealtime schedules can be particularly tricky, so keeping a stash of snacks handy can be a lifesaver in case you need to bridge the gap until the next meal. Additionally, don't hesitate to bring up the topic of meal times with your relatives. Enquiring about the day's plan allows you to be better prepared, ensuring that your child's meals align with their usual routine as much as possible. Open communication about your child's needs and schedule can help create a smoother and more enjoyable experience for everyone involved.
Sleeping in a Different Place
The challenge of getting a little one to sleep in an unfamiliar bed or room is a common concern and rightly so! My children as toddlers always slept badly the first night in an unfamiliar environment despite my best efforts. I quite often ended up going for a later bedtime, allowing sleep pressure to build, so they were more likely to naturally "zonk out" when placed in bed!
What you could do
If you anticipate difficulty in getting your child to sleep in a new place, consider delaying their bedtime slightly. Engage them in calming activities, such as a quiet story or gentle play, to ensure that when bedtime arrives, they are more ready to embrace sleep. This tactic can be especially effective for children who may be more alert or anxious in unfamiliar surroundings.
While a later bedtime may work for some children, others are more sensitive to changes in their sleep schedule. If you know that your little one tends to thrive on a consistent bedtime, it's wise to stick to their usual bedtime as closely as possible.
If you can, stick to their usual bedtime routine and bring along items that signal bedtime, like a favourite blanket or a special bedtime story.
My top tip is to invest in a travel blackout blind. Even if a room does have window coverings, nine times out of ten they seem to be transparent, letting in way too much light. And go big, with good sturdy suction pads. And use a white noise machine to drown out any loud relatives!
Visiting relatives during the festive period can be a wonderful experience for families, but it does come with more than its fair share of challenges! As you navigate these hurdles with practical tips in mind, remember that your role as the expert on your child is invaluable.
Stand tall, trust your instints and make choices that prioritise the well-being and happiness of your little one. Merry Christmas!
